I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

We're the most aggressively inarticulate generation to come along since, you know, a long time ago!

Nothing induces me to read a novel except when I have to make money by writing about it. I detest them.

I think as a moral question, restaurant workers should get paid more.

It's one of the advantages of being a woman. I get to do all sorts of unfair things, and you have to accept them because you're too polite not to. --Polgara

I left school at 17 and was a star by the time I was 18 - in certain parts of the world anyway.

If you want to double your success ratio, you have to double your failure ratio.

The only paradise is paradise lost.

The cup of joy is heaviest when empty.

Constellations shine with light that was emitted aeons ago, and I wait for something to come to me, words that a poet might use to illuminate life's mysteries. But there is nothing.

I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism. And that's how I operate my life.