I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic.

My whole act is confession.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance.

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

I am careful with my material and presentation.

The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us.

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

To penetrate one's being one must go armed to the teeth.

Most of man's problems upon this planet, in the long history of the race, have been met and solved either partially or as a whole by experiment based on common sense and carried out with courage.

Integrity is essential and irreplaceable. It is the most valuable asset for a person, a company, or a society seeking to build and progress.

It is important to me to instill in [kids] a sense of compassion and respect for others.

Some die too young, some die too old; the precept sounds strange, but die at the right age.

Until a friend or relative has applied a particular proverb to your own life, or until you've watched him apply the proverb to his own life, it has no power to sway you.

The only mofos in my circle are people that I can learn from.

Life is an opportunity afforded to each not to eat and drink, but to achieve something nobler and higher to merge in the Reality.

Events are influenced by our very great desires.

The enemies of freedom do not argue; they shout and they shoot.