How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I’ll be off exploring, searching for those out-of-bounds places where dreams exist.

Your better life is as close and as easy as making the choice to pick up your Bible each day, open it up, and let God speak to you.

Until the end of time, success will always be available to anyone who is willing and ready to pay its price.

Every woman is a human being-one cannot repeat that too often-and a human being must have occupation if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.

I don't go out there to love my enemy. I go out there to squash him.

I've never been in a barroom brawl in my life. I just don't do such things

Diplomacy is the police in grand costume.

What then is the right way to live? Life should be lived as play.

When I graduated from high school I couldn't go to college, so I went to the library 3 days a week for 10 years.

The true Mason is the Tiler of the Temple of the Heart.