How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Develop a strong thirst for positive associations and learning from others, because the right people can take you further than you can go on your own.

Accepting the nonexistence of being, when the absence of existence means the negation of being.

I don't want to have to earn love by giving up my ability to make decisions that determine how I live.

We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile.

Science literacy is the artery through which the solutions of tomorrow's problems flow.

It's well known that I play aggressively. When I'm not doing that, I'm not doing my job.

Prudence reproaches; conscience accuses.

The progress of the Way seems retreating.

The whole economy of this lower world proves that it is by labor and perseverance only that good is obtained and evil is avoided.

We read the world wrong and say that it deceives us.