History is not happenstance: it is conspiratorial. Carefully planned and executed by people in power.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Now your boat comes in every day with Cosmic Ordering.

You always think you want to be noticed. Until you are.

You see persons and things not as they are but as you are.

The cup of Ireland's misery has been overflowing for centuries and is not yet half full.

There's nothing better than a Nebraska summer so I wanted to live there in the summer time and visit my family and go to as many Nebraska games as I could.

All the knowledge that I have doesn't necessarily make me brilliant, but I love acquiring knowledge and then sharing it with everybody else.

I want to welcome folks to poetry, especially those who may have previously felt unwelcome; I want to celebrate everyone who is trying to make sense of this world through poetry the way I try to.

My intuition told me that it was the grass that was important.Now it glows parrot-green, cool as mint, soft as moss, lying there like a cashmere blanket.

A great investment opportunity occurs when a marvelous business encounters a one-time huge, but solvable problem.

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell?