Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Beauty can be treacherous.

You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.

If you want to make a mythical creature, just take a regular animal and add wings to it. A horse becomes a pegasus, a lion becomes a griffin, and a hawk... becomes a double hawk.

You don't need jails, you get put a thousand miles into the middle of Australia, you can go wherever you want, go ahead, but if you come into a city it's straight to jail.

Zionism is the most stupendous fallacy in Jewish history

Beautiful I would never be. Striking, that I could manage.

We inevitably doom our children to failure and frustration when we try to set their goals for them.

Here's a guy who can use his arms and legs at the same time.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

We have learned that history is something that takes no notice whatever of our expectations.