Bill Watterson Quotes

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that? Last-minute panic.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.

Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

If people looked at the stars each night, they'd live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life...procrastinating and rationalizing.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Authority has no power over it!

It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.

It's always better to leave the party early.

I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

You know, maybe we don't need enemies." "Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.