Bill Watterson Quotes
Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
Maybe we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding.
CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?
I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!
You know, maybe we don't need enemies.""Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.
There are few things less comforting than a tiger who's been up too late.
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.
To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.
The world isn't fair, Calvin.""I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.-Calvin
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!
Cigars are all the rage, dad. You should smoke cigars!" - Calvin"Flatulence could be all the rage, but it would still be disgusting." - Calvin's mom
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet
Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.
At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.
