He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Oh, this is the most TRAGICAL thing that ever happened to me!

Great leadership makes ordinary people into extraordinary people.

I'm a Gibson guy. I play anything from Hummingbirds to J200s.

First move me, astonish me, break my heart, let me tremble, weep, stare, be enraged-only then regale my eyes.

Love is a fluxuating thing, not a fixed thing. That's why we don't understand what's happening.

In the world of thought a man's rank is determined, not by his average work, but by his highest achievement.

Now, have I ever been tempted to break into a Krispy Kreme doughnut store in the middle of the night? Oh, yeah. God help us if I had a mini-bar stocked with cheesecake and chicken-fried steak.

When you get a mobile phone it is almost like having a card to get you out of poverty in a couple of years.

Somewhere, something incredible happened in history - the wrong guys won.

I say, when you tell the truth, you never offend nobody, particularly if you do it with dignity.