He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Philosophy is the toil which can never tire persons engaged in it. All ways are strewn with roses, and the farther you go, the more enchanting objects appear before you and invite you on.

If I let you go are you going to hit me again?”“What do you think?”“Then I’m not going to let you go.

I beg your pardon I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.

Perimeter is not meaning, but it changes meaning, /as wit increases distance, and compassion erodes it.

Professionals have to decide on which subjects they are prepared to give nagging rights

Information gently but relentlessly drizzles down on us in an invisible, impalpable electric rain.

If you can't think of what to write, tough luck; write anyway. If you can think of lots more when you've finished the three pages, don't write it; it'll be that much easier to get going next day.

We should seek the greatest value of our action.

When I think of Cool Britannia I think of old people dying of hypothermia.

Motivation is like taking a bath; If you stop doing it, you begin to stink!