He comes back with the script, and it's racist like a 1940's Newspaper.

I think pimp, therefore i am.

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

Genius is often called crazy, but crazy is never called genius. So you just have to put out the work and let the chips fall where they may.

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

All comedy comes from a dark place.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.

The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I'm always speaking to my actual fans in present tense.

There's only winning and losing, and in our society, as in all societies, there's the person that's doing the winning, or there's the person that's facilitating the winning.

Words borrowed of antiquity do lend a kind of majesty to style, and are not without their delight sometimes.

Dude, we gotta work on your material. Hell, all you need is a little black moustache to twirl and go ‘Muahahahaha’ while you’re at it.

We are the prisoners of conformity. To get out of this prison, education is the only door and only opportunity.

Grace is the music that happens inside of you when you hear the music.

Science arose from poetry... when times change the two can meet again on a higher level as friends.

Except on their southern borders the great northern forests are not good as a permanent home for man.

Cubism is the art of depicting new wholes with formal elements borrowed not only from the reality of vision, but from that of conception.

I like everything to be washable, myself included.

The Wise Man is square but not sharp, honest but not not malign, straight but not severe, bright but not dazzling.

This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I wanted to do a comedy, so this was just the right one.