Aspirin Quotes

Aspirin Quote of the day

I must be right. Never an aspirin. Never injured a day in my life. The whole country, the whole world, should be doing my exercises. They'd be happier.

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive.

I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease.

I don't take any of the medications I took when I was younger: antibiotics, antacids, aspirin, asthma inhalers, ulcer medication, allergy shots.

We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin.

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

Shoulder-in is the aspirin of horseback riding - it cures everything.

We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin.

When there's an ache, you want to be like aspirin, not vitamins. Aspirin solves a very particular problem someone has, whereas vitamins are a general "nice to have" market.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

Pop music is aspirin and the blues are vitamins.

I took the two most expensive aspirins in history.

Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.

You know, back in my days they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.

Peacekeeping works in some situations, but it very often needs other ingredients. Peacekeeping is not the aspirin of international security.

Cinema never saved anyone's life, it is not a medicine that will save anyone's life. It is only an aspirin.

Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias.

We protect aspirin bottles in this country better than we protect guns from accidents by children.

I realize now that taking drugs was like taking an aspirin without having a headache.

Movie failures are like the common cold. You can stay in bed and take aspirin for six days and recover. Or you can walk around and ignore it for six days and recover.

For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

The remedy now is two scotches and an aspirin, I think.

For a long time, many Republicans thought if they just took two aspirin and laid down, [Donald] Trump would go away.

What I found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany's. It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it;nothing very bad could happen to you there.

Friends seem to be like aspirin; we don't really know why they make a sick person feel better, but they do.

We are not bearing our crosses every time we have a headache; an aspirin tablet will take care of that. What is meant is the trouble we would not have if we were not Christians.

George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin.

I don't even take aspirin.

Most things in this world don´t work, aspirin do.

The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin.

My head is pounding. I wish the mints were aspirin.

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

There is no such thing as a peace of soul approach to religion. It makes of God a gigantic Bayer Aspirin; take God three times a day and you won't feel any pain.

Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.

Were Moses to go up Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd bring down with him would be aspirin and Prozac.

Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.

People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?

I would say that it's an awfully overrated aspirin and very similar to the old people's Disneyland.

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat.

When a regular person gets sick, they take an aspirin. When a writer gets sick, they take notes.

The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.

Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin.