Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

I think pimp, therefore i am.

Genius is often called crazy, but crazy is never called genius. So you just have to put out the work and let the chips fall where they may.

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

All comedy comes from a dark place.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.

The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I'm always speaking to my actual fans in present tense.

There's only winning and losing, and in our society, as in all societies, there's the person that's doing the winning, or there's the person that's facilitating the winning.

Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.

We have to accept that much of reality is ineffable and so to understand it we can't rely on words alone.

Some horror movies are just for shock value, so it doesn't really feel scary.

Only three percent of adults have written goals, and everyone else works for them.

I started training bodybuilding in 1983.

I want some fact-based evidence about where we came from. Things we consider mysterious need not be attributed to a deity.

Okay, Libya. President Obama supported the uprising, correct?... No, that's a different one. I've got to go back, got all this stuff twirling around in my head.

Help me to change the world is an invitation to be authentic, to follow your heart, to be free of superstitions and lies. And I'm not asking you to try to change the world. Don't try: just do it.

We shouldn't censor ourselves based on the weak idea of "looking cool." It's such a waste of potential awesomeness.

If you would ask me what my ideal process is, I would say, long pre-production, long production and long post-production.

Pride and Prejudice' - perhaps more than any other Jane Austen book - is engrained in our literary consciousness.