Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

The possibility of truth has become a delusion to those who made their own disguise the truth.

Remember that every man is a variation of yourself

At times I can't help going for visual comfort. Sometimes a picture fills up your head, and you try to move the actors around to make that visual statement.

If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?

To give an accurate and exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine.

i'm never going to understand the Barrani." "You needn't sound so morose, Lord Kaylin. They are unlikely to understand you either." "Yes, but I'm unlikely to try to kill them for fun.

Too much and too long, we seem to have surrendered community excellence and community values in the mere accumulation of material things.

There is nothing like playing at Wimbledon; you can feel the footprints of the legends of the game-men and women-that have graced those courts.

You need a degree of foolishness to cause disruptive change in healthcare. Dare to dream.

Yeah, I don't think you can live anywhere else - it's such a great city [New York]. L.A. is kind of a necessary evil, but man, I love going back to New York.