Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.

The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet.

Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Life is strange. Every so often a good man wins.

Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.

A liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn't own.

Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel.

A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.

Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately.

The only means by which one could attain complete happiness is to avoid living in constant expectation of it. It's the expectation that causes our unhappiness and consequent bitterness about life

Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.

I think anyone who is an artist or writer or owns their own business or whatever can agree that when you come up with something on your own, it's an addictive feeling.

There's nothing worse than a poorly staged house.

The sound man, immune as to a sacrifice of straw dogs, faces the passing human generations.

Our military doesn't defend our American people. Our military is the strong-arm muscle of corporations.

Fiction, I believed, was the transmutation of experiential dross into linguistic gold. Fiction meant taking up whatever the world had abandoned by the road and making something beautiful out of it.

You know who was wonderful to work with? Was Paul Gleason, may he rest in peace.

There is no royal road or ready way to virtue.

I'm from Hollywood, I'm too dumb to be nervous about New York.