Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Deal with my weird

I don't look at myself as a hero or smart person. I have a seventh-grade education, but I've had a lot of fun.

Life is so impermanent that it's not about somebody else or things around me, it's about knowing you are completely alone in this world and being content inside.

If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance that you won't have any.

I don't vote. We're led to believe we're free through the exercise of ineffective freedoms.

I like to make an impression.

Come away with me, he said, we will live on a desert island. I said, I am a desert island. It was not what he had in mind.

In mindfulness one is not only restful and happy, but alert and awake. Meditation is not evasion; it is a serene encounter with reality.

This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need, but I'm too old to go chasing you around wasting my precious energy.

It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.