Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

To know one's future is the single most destructive way of ending your life before you've lived it." - Altheon (Betrayal- Fey Court Trilogy)

There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men for this treachery.

The whole of what we know is a system of compensations. Each suffering is rewarded each sacrifice is made up every debt is paid.

I think there's only one sensible place for a person to be at 5:30 in the morning. That's in bed. And what am I doing? I'm out running. And I completely hate this.

Making art, I try to just gently persist, instead of having freak-outs where I'm like, Oh, my god, I'll never draw again. You are going to draw again, so you might as well relax.

I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.

You take an educated gamble. If you don't occasionally make a mistake, you're not doing your job.

If Cargo is a catalyst to spark policy, that would be great. The more we're able to use it as an educational tool, the more it's a building block in youths' minds and peoples' minds to enact policy.

A large volume of adventures may be grasped within this little span of life, by him who interests his heart in everything.

If the heart bleeds love, bare it, If the martyr's crown fits, wear it.