Contentment is knowing you're right

In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.

Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

Three women walk into a pub and say, 'Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

In the faculty of failure, mediocrity is never an optional course!

If you hate what you get for Christmas, try to focus on the person who gave the gift to you, not what came in the box.

To all the readers, whom despitethe attraction of tv, of internet, of family troubles, of video games, of sport, of night clubs, have found some hoursso we can all dream together.

The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.

The word "tip" stands for "to insure promptness." So when should you give it? Up front,of course. Sophisticated people don't take chances on poor service, they insure good service.

I believe that if I committed to basketball, I could make an impact in the NBA. I now see football as my job and my greatest challenge.

I remember I used to come up to my teacher crying because I couldn't read. She would say: 'You can do this. You just don't want to do this.

Such is the advantage of a well constructed language that its simplified notation often becomes the source of profound theories.

When in doubt, use nutrition first.

Our minds and memories are crowded with the common experience of nature.