Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.

Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.

I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

Three women walk into a pub and say, 'Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

I'm sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.

Keep your eyes on the prize and know that the trials are only for a while, so smile.

They joined hands.So the world ended.And the next one began.

Oneness with God is not a dream, it is the only reality. Everything else is an illusion.

It is my intent to beget a good understanding between the chymists and the mechanical philosophers who have hitherto been too little acquainted with one another's learning.

Most successful people chose the path and did the things in their own way, against all the rules and guidelines, but we are everyday told to follow the rules to be a successful person.

You cannot ensure the gratitude of others for a favour conferred upon them in the way which is most agreeable to yourself.

If you can't write your message in a sentence, you can't say it in an hour.

A story has to be a good date, because the reader can stop at any time. Remember, readers are selfish and have no compulsion to be decent about anything.

God Almighty Himself must have been hilarious when human beings so mingled iron and water and fire as to make a railroad train!

Nothing is eternally stable, and even Kansas isn't really in Kansas anymore. The earth is in a constant state of flux.