Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.

Let the blood and the bruises define your legacy.

The only competition in art is the search for truth. No matter who gets there first, we all win.

Every man prays in his own language.

If I cannot understand my friend's silence, I will never get to understand his words.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

A sound man is good at salvage, at seeing nothing is lost

Economic control is not merely control of a sector of human life that can be separated from the rest; it is the control of the means for all our ends.

I don’t believe in technique, I believe in performance. If you are tough, whether you have technique or not, you’ll survive.

If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well. It were done quickly.