Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories.

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.

I constantly walk into a room and I don't remember why. But for some reason, I think there's going to be a clue in the fridge.

I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.

I always feel slightly sorry to be the voice of whatever I'm experiencing.

I'd like a pop-up magazine with 45 articles on Russell Crowe. I'm like a teenager. I'd have 'Teen Beat' if I could, for grown-ups.

I grew up thinking that if I wanted to go be prime minister, I could.

I always like to think I'm having a dinner party, and I'm the host, and the audience are my guests.

I was just the youngest in the family, and most in desperate need of attention.

Purpose creates a belief in a higher power, directing you toward your goal on the best path possible.

I'm raising a child, and it's public. The media creates these dramas, and that's not what's happening in my life.

At some level, Trump is more radical than the NRA. In the wake of Orlando, he was calling on people to walk into bars fully armed as a means to prevent future tragedies.

I don't think I've ever made any conscious decision to be a comic artist, but to me there's something quite anarchic about comedy.

To see the Summer Sky Is Poetry, though never in a Book it lie— True Poems flee—

You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.

Don't worry about society's conditioning and the labels that are put on you by external forces. Hold onto your true self.

Oh, God — the lives people try to lead. Oh, God — what a world they try to lead them in.

Two days like icebergs bleak, blank, half-melting, all frigid, mainly out of sight, and definitely a threat to peace of mind drifted by and were good to put behind.

If you’re concerned about scalability, any algorithm that forces you to run agreement will eventually become your bottleneck. Take that as a given.