Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

The only bad workout is the one that didn't happen.

Thou hast made him a little lower than the angels.

I think, honestly, that a lot of people think I'm sad and dark all the time, because of the music I have made. But there's a huge part of my personality that's really energetic, outgoing and goofy.

I'm my own biggest critic, and the only way I'm going to improve is to see what I was doing wrong.

The fans know that I don't give at-bats away.

Quality is timeless: It will clearly define itself.

My biggest satisfaction is always when I make something beautiful and well-done that I can see on a real man or woman - not only in the glossy magazines.

It's the same old thing getting lost Day 'N' Nite young and lost in the pain.

An allegory is not meant to be taken literally. There is a great lack of comprehension on the part of some readers.

O white-robed Angel, guide my timorous hand to write as on a lofty rock with iron pen the words of truth, that all who pass may read.