Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

It's cool to know I thought a book into existence.

Miracles can only inhabit the reality of our awareness when we surrender our need for the familiar to our desire for the limitless.

The people who truly matter, would surely love you unconditionally for being true to yourself. So why worry about those who wouldn't accept you?

Patience is the analogue of God's serenity.

You either belong wholly to the world or wholly to God.

There is nothing more flattering than a woman to say 'I'm a fan' or 'I think you're beautiful.' I don't know why, but it means a lot to get a compliment from a woman.

Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.

The idea is that it will tell you where the importance lies, because it will be able to show you what impacts you in your everyday life.

Rudy has always been a scary character, so there's a place for him on Halloween.

Of course the theory of evolution would be vacuous if it offered a glib explanation for every inexplicable act.