At the millennium we partied like it was 1999. And then we had a 10 year bathtub tequila hangover, man. Just hugging the metaphorical toilet on a daily basis.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

Live a virtuous life, help everyone and spread joy wherever you go.

I'd sit on the coffee table and lip sync to 'Blue Christmas, ' 'I Can't Help Falling in Love, ' 'Love Me Tender, ' 'Don't Be Cruel' - some of the big hits like that.

I would love to do an all Laura Nyro show.

No amount of pay ever made a good soldier, a good teacher, a good artist, or a good workman.

My mum says that I was born 45, and I do remember at six thinking that I should be earning my own living.

If you start doing things because you hate others and want to screw them over, the end result is bad.

Most people are bad with names. I have learned a trick: Make them laugh and they will never forget you.

I'm a rapper but I'm a human being.

I would never want to discourage anyone from listening to the news, heaven forfend. But I thought, you know, when I'm recommending music to people I like to recommend stuff that I think they'll like.

And everyone must lose his mind, everyone must! The sooner the better! It is essential — I know it.