Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

But we reject the belief that America must choose between caring for the generation that built this country and investing in the generation that will build its future.

If the human body recognized agony and frustration, people would never run marathons, have babies, or play baseball.

I am for an art that tells you the time of day, or where such and such a street is. I am for an art that helps old ladies across the street.

That's really empowering - people recognize that I care about other things.

Everyone thinks softball is a girl's game. But you only think that until you get hit with it on a line drive.

If you could drink dreams like the Irish streams Then the world would be high as the mountain of morn In the Pool they told us the story How the English divided the land.

I really didn't know a lot of rock 'n' roll until I moved to L.A. Before that, when I was in New York, I grew up listening mostly to R&B and soul and jazz.

Unselfishness is more paying, only people have not the patience to practice it.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.