Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday.

I am the product of any imperfection of mine I have never used to make my life better.

As in heaven Your will is punctually performed so may it be done on earth by all creatures particularly in me and by me.

Someone once accused me of being like Eliot Ness. I sad no sir, I'm not E.N., but I can promise you that I'm not Al Capone!

I pray hard, work hard, and leave the rest to God.

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

Do not feel badly if your kindness is rewarded with ingratitude; it is better to fall from your dream clouds than from a third-story window.

The time has come to tell the truth about the corruption of the government employee unions in this country.

No... a novel is a long business. I'm a slow writer, even when I'm doing very well I write slowly.

The single most amazing phenomenon is the discrediting of idealism.