An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. - On Dwight D. Eisenhower

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.

The rearing of children is considered too important to be left to the individual and should be the responsibility of the state.

Love is a diseases which makes the mind stop functioning and the heart beating faster.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.

People who stay unemployed for a long time start to look like damaged goods, and they don't get such good offers. Also, they're not learning anything. Most learning is on-the-job learning.

unless the direction of science is guided by a consciously ethical motivation, especially compassion, its effects may fail to bring benefit. They may indeed cause great harm.

My dad [...] sent me a text saying, 'You know who you should play? Columbo. That's your Academy Award.'

It sounds extraordinary, but it's a fact that balance sheets can make fascinating reading.

My son is a better dancer than me. I always try to encourage him in his endeavours.

Gentleman-rankers out on the spree, damned from here to Eternity.

So the question rises: How much liberty can you get away with? Well, you get no more liberty than you give!