Abortion is an atrocity. Those who practice or praise it are either damn idiots, misguided fools, or treacherous devils.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

What you learn is your personal treasure. No one can take it away from you.

Humankind will not be free until the last Kremlin commissar is strangled with the entrails of the last Pentagon chief of staff.

A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.

On the Intel platform, Microsoft is the defacto standard. It's the weather.

I just got pinned by a freakin' twelve year old.

Art and religion first; then philosophy; lastly science. That is the order of the great subjects of life, that's their order of importance.

I hope before long to press you in my arms and shall shower on you a million burning kisses as under the Equator.

I call that person the most intelligent who sees the benevolence, the ascent and the ultimate goal.

And right this second I want to live in ignorant bliss.