A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through.

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.

If you meet a man who deeply believes he knows it all, then you have succeeded in finding a man who's unwise.

If money could buy happiness, the rich would not drown their sorrows in expensive wine.

We should be more concerned with reaching the lost than pampering the saved.

A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

I now opened my Bible and began to study, and faith has been growing ever since.

The cinema is death at work.

You spoil your horse, Halt said. Will glanced at him. You spoil yours. Halt considered the thought, then nodded. That's true.

I want to regain my First Amendment rights.

It doesn't take any imagination at all to feel awed

As a writer reading, I came to realize the obvious: the subject of the dream is the dreamer.