A. Whitney Brown Quotes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through.

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

I don't know if the unborn has rights, but I do know that being born again doesn't give you more rights.

Enjoy every minute. There's plenty of time to be dead.

The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good lie will keep you out of jail in the first place.

I don't know whether you have any rights before you're born. All I know is that being born again doesn't entitle you to twice as many.

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.