Witty Quotes

If you give your life as a wholehearted response to love, then love will wholeheartedly respond to you.

It's absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities.

Well Mandira, I hope not. You see, I started both their careers. And as far as i can remember, I started yours too.

Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

Melancholy men, of all others, are the most witty.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well.

College isn't the place to go for ideas.

Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

The stories we love best do live in us forever.

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

Your wits make others witty.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Tell them to stand closer apart.

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.

It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feelings one can go through in one day.

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing?

This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.

The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere."

My brain's not sharp enough to come up with a witty comment.

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 2

I think it would be a good idea.

I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

[On Italian:] One may almost call it a language that talks of itself, and always seems more witty than its speakers.

I don't even know if it's possible, but if it were, I'd like to make those kinds of old movies where the women were articulate and intelligent and flawed and witty.

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet.

Nothing is more witty and grotesque than ancient mythology and Christianity; that is because they are so mystical.

I would rather stay positive and get 50 percent good results, than stay negative and get 100 percent bad results!

As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do"

The more learned and witty you bee, the more fit to act for Satan will you bee.

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do.

There is a statue of limitation.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

Whenever I start feeling too arrogant about myself, I always take a trip to the U.S. The immigration guys kick the star out of my stardom.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

People don't buy from clowns.