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Witty Quotes

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Witty Quotes: "It's absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities."

It's absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities.



Witty Quotes: "Well Mandira, I hope not. You see, I started both their careers. And as far as i can remember, I started yours too."

Well Mandira, I hope not. You see, I started both their careers. And as far as i can remember, I started yours too.




Witty Quotes: "Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course"

Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course



Witty Quotes: "No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech."

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.




Witty Quotes: "Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster."

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.



Witty Quotes: "I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy."

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.



Witty Quotes: "Melancholy men, of all others, are the most witty."

Melancholy men, of all others, are the most witty.




Witty Quotes: "Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?"

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?



Witty Quotes: "Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad."

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.



Witty Quotes: "Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well."

Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well.



Witty Quotes: "College isn't the place to go for ideas."

College isn't the place to go for ideas.



Witty Quotes: "Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend."

Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend.




Witty Quotes: "The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready."

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.



Witty Quotes: "The stories we love best do live in us forever."

The stories we love best do live in us forever.



Witty Quotes: "Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear."

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.



Witty Quotes: "Your wits make others witty."

Your wits make others witty.



Witty Quotes: "You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it."

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.



Witty Quotes: "Tell them to stand closer apart."

Tell them to stand closer apart.



Witty Quotes: "She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me."

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.



Witty Quotes: "Do you mind if I don't smoke?"

Do you mind if I don't smoke?



Witty Quotes: "Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter."

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.



Witty Quotes: "Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind."

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.



Witty Quotes: "It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feelings one can go through in one day."

It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feelings one can go through in one day.



Witty Quotes: "Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs."

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.



Witty Quotes: "Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing?"

Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing?



Witty Quotes: "This President is going to lead us out of this recovery."

This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.



Witty Quotes: "The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere.""

The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere."



Witty Quotes: "My brain's not sharp enough to come up with a witty comment."

My brain's not sharp enough to come up with a witty comment.



Witty Quotes: "Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 2"

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 2



Witty Quotes: "I think it would be a good idea."

I think it would be a good idea.



Witty Quotes: "I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde."

I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.



Witty Quotes: "I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.



Witty Quotes: "[On Italian:] One may almost call it a language that talks of itself, and always seems more witty than its speakers."

[On Italian:] One may almost call it a language that talks of itself, and always seems more witty than its speakers.



Witty Quotes: "I don't even know if it's possible, but if it were, I'd like to make those kinds of old movies where the women were articulate and intelligent and flawed and witty."

I don't even know if it's possible, but if it were, I'd like to make those kinds of old movies where the women were articulate and intelligent and flawed and witty.



Witty Quotes: "There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet."

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet.



Witty Quotes: "Nothing is more witty and grotesque than ancient mythology and Christianity; that is because they are so mystical."

Nothing is more witty and grotesque than ancient mythology and Christianity; that is because they are so mystical.



Witty Quotes: "I would rather stay positive and get 50 percent good results, than stay negative and get 100 percent bad results!"

I would rather stay positive and get 50 percent good results, than stay negative and get 100 percent bad results!



Witty Quotes: "As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do""

As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do"



Witty Quotes: "The more learned and witty you bee, the more fit to act for Satan will you bee."

The more learned and witty you bee, the more fit to act for Satan will you bee.



Witty Quotes: "The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners."

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.



Witty Quotes: "Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you."

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.



Witty Quotes: "In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do."

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do.



Witty Quotes: "There is a statue of limitation."

There is a statue of limitation.



Witty Quotes: "You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time."

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.



Witty Quotes: "Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'."

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.



Witty Quotes: "To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.



Witty Quotes: "Whenever I start feeling too arrogant about myself, I always take a trip to the U.S. The immigration guys kick the star out of my stardom."

Whenever I start feeling too arrogant about myself, I always take a trip to the U.S. The immigration guys kick the star out of my stardom.



Witty Quotes: "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.



Witty Quotes: "People don't buy from clowns."

People don't buy from clowns.