Tina Fey Quotes

Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

And I can see Russia from my house.

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Saturday Night Live,' and that is so cool.

Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?

I think if you ask any of us here, we all dreamed of ending up on Saturday Night Live. I remember thinking, 'I'll just keep doing this as long as I can get away with it.'

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted.

You go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, 'this is impossible - oh,this is impossible'. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.

Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

That turned-up collar. The jacket that zipped all the way down the front into a nice fitted shape. The white denim that made my untanned skin look like a color.

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”

Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

I feel like I represent normalcy in some way.

It is less dangerous to draw a cartoon of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam — which, let me make it very clear, I have not done — than it is to speak honestly about [working moms].

You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

Start with a 'Yes', and see where that takes you.

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

To me YES, AND means don't be afraid to contribute. Always make sure you're adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile.

I don't really have a nemesis, but I have a series of hundreds of small enemies that fuel me. Everyone I meet I assume is out to get me and that fuels my fire on a daily basis.

In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby.

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.

There are no mistakes only opportunities.

If you ever start to feel good about yourself... .... they have this thing called the internet.

When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, 'Yeah, I'm not cool enough for the West Village.'

I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

Whatever the problem - be part of the solution

In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea."

I want to go to there.

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.

When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.

North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror. Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.

Just say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you're asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do.