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Humor Quotes

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Humor Quotes: "Leo: I'm almost out of gas! Woah, that came out wrong. I meant the burning kind!"

Leo: I'm almost out of gas! Woah, that came out wrong. I meant the burning kind!



Humor Quotes: "Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place."

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.




Humor Quotes: "Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence."

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.



Humor Quotes: "If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style."

If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style.




Humor Quotes: "I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family."

I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.



Humor Quotes: "The integrity of my sleep has been forever compromised, sir."

The integrity of my sleep has been forever compromised, sir.



Humor Quotes: "He smiled in a way that made me want to kiss him right on the spot. Or the lips. Whichever was closer."

He smiled in a way that made me want to kiss him right on the spot. Or the lips. Whichever was closer.




Humor Quotes: "Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them."

Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.



Humor Quotes: "Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar."

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.



Humor Quotes: "I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!"

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!



Humor Quotes: "Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!"

Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!



Humor Quotes: "But Grover’s voice was already growing fainter. ‘Sweet dreams. Don’t let me die!"

But Grover’s voice was already growing fainter. ‘Sweet dreams. Don’t let me die!




Humor Quotes: "Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid."

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.



Humor Quotes: "Once again, I've been thwarted by the massive difference between my vision of the successful me and the me I'm currently stuck with."

Once again, I've been thwarted by the massive difference between my vision of the successful me and the me I'm currently stuck with.



Humor Quotes: "I don't mind foreigners. God save the queen!" he squeaked and ran."

I don't mind foreigners. God save the queen!" he squeaked and ran.



Humor Quotes: "That's it, cupcake. You're going down."

That's it, cupcake. You're going down.



Humor Quotes: "Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench."

Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench.



Humor Quotes: "All I really wanted to do was cuddle back under the blankets, maybe with a certain stuffed toy penguin I knew. Yeah, hiding sounded good."

All I really wanted to do was cuddle back under the blankets, maybe with a certain stuffed toy penguin I knew. Yeah, hiding sounded good.



Humor Quotes: "Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away."

Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.



Humor Quotes: "You don't happen to have a thousand dollars I can borrow?" "I don't have five you can borrow. My piggy bank is officialy anorexic."

You don't happen to have a thousand dollars I can borrow?" "I don't have five you can borrow. My piggy bank is officialy anorexic.



Humor Quotes: "Most of the upper management of I.S. were undead. I always thought it was because the job was easier if you didn't have a soul."

Most of the upper management of I.S. were undead. I always thought it was because the job was easier if you didn't have a soul.



Humor Quotes: "I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them."

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.



Humor Quotes: "I'm not stubborn. My way is just better."

I'm not stubborn. My way is just better.



Humor Quotes: "Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team!"

Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team!



Humor Quotes: "Well, thanks for not shooting anyone, I guess", said Marcus. "My contribution was to somehow refrain from peeing myself. You can thank me later."

Well, thanks for not shooting anyone, I guess", said Marcus. "My contribution was to somehow refrain from peeing myself. You can thank me later.



Humor Quotes: "Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire."

Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire.



Humor Quotes: "Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature."

Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.



Humor Quotes: "Don't be stupid, it's a flying house!"

Don't be stupid, it's a flying house!



Humor Quotes: "If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork."

If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork.



Humor Quotes: "To me you are a work of art, and I would give you my heart - that's if I had one."

To me you are a work of art, and I would give you my heart - that's if I had one.



Humor Quotes: "She blew out a breath between gritted teeth. “Sometimes I really want to”—a frustrated sound—“bite you!” He froze. “I might let you.” “I won’t do it if you’d enjoy it."

She blew out a breath between gritted teeth. “Sometimes I really want to”—a frustrated sound—“bite you!” He froze. “I might let you.” “I won’t do it if you’d enjoy it.



Humor Quotes: "I hate patience. Slows everything down."

I hate patience. Slows everything down.



Humor Quotes: "You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve."

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.



Humor Quotes: "You can't save everyone, though God knows you try."

You can't save everyone, though God knows you try.



Humor Quotes: "He has fought many battles with us" (Jace) By which you mean one battle" muttered Simon. "Two if you count the one I was a rat"

He has fought many battles with us" (Jace) By which you mean one battle" muttered Simon. "Two if you count the one I was a rat



Humor Quotes: "You can hear my dreams? God, you must never get any quiet. I'd be shooting myself in the head if I were you."

You can hear my dreams? God, you must never get any quiet. I'd be shooting myself in the head if I were you.



Humor Quotes: "I was also built from delusional optimism and folly."

I was also built from delusional optimism and folly.



Humor Quotes: "I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland."

I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.



Humor Quotes: "It was the hat. He looked sweet in the hat. How could a man in a fuzzy blue hat have used human bones to pave his roads?"

It was the hat. He looked sweet in the hat. How could a man in a fuzzy blue hat have used human bones to pave his roads?



Humor Quotes: "But there is in everything a reasonable division of labour. I have written the book, and nothing on earth would induce me to read it."

But there is in everything a reasonable division of labour. I have written the book, and nothing on earth would induce me to read it.



Humor Quotes: "Running ain't no bad thing. Leastways if you run in the right direction."

Running ain't no bad thing. Leastways if you run in the right direction.



Humor Quotes: "So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns."

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.



Humor Quotes: "But you can't stay with people because of guilt. Or because they can drive a speedboat."

But you can't stay with people because of guilt. Or because they can drive a speedboat.



Humor Quotes: "Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground."

Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.



Humor Quotes: "Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space."

Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space.



Humor Quotes: "It was one thing to snuggle a little when the world seemed about to end, and quite another to explain to her parents that she wanted to date an ancient magical horse."

It was one thing to snuggle a little when the world seemed about to end, and quite another to explain to her parents that she wanted to date an ancient magical horse.



Humor Quotes: "So let me get this straight. You were living in a tent in the woods, but now you're living with Prince Charming and anger management boy? SERIOUSLY?!"

So let me get this straight. You were living in a tent in the woods, but now you're living with Prince Charming and anger management boy? SERIOUSLY?!



Humor Quotes: "It's the perfect solution. We argue all the time. We can't stand each other. It's like we're already married."

It's the perfect solution. We argue all the time. We can't stand each other. It's like we're already married.



Humor Quotes: "The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much."

The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.