Humor Quotes
I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.
He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.
MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT.
If not for me being stoned and clinging to a taco, it would have been terribly romantic.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
We spend money that we do not have, on things we do not need, to impress people who do not care.
In most of my campaigns, I find it is best not to mention my opponent by name because, by doing so, it just gives him a chance to get into the headlines.
Just move to the Internet, its great here. We get to live inside where the weather is always awesome.
That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
General fiction is pretty much about ways that people get into problems and screw their lives up. Science fiction is about everything else.
Have Fun Storming the Castle!
So many FREAKS and not enough CIRCUSES!
It is obvious that art cannot teach anyone anything, since in four thousand years humanity has learnt nothing at all.
You are a placebo responder. Your body plays tricks on your mind. You cannot be trusted.
It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay." - China Sorrows -
May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
I can't even make up a rhyme about an umbrella, let alone death and life and eternal peace.
An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.
Old timidity has disappeared, and is replaced by silent, quaint fun, with which his face twinkles all over, as he listens.
All cows were like other cows, all tigers like all other tigers - What on earth happened to human beings?
I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music.
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.
A romantic man often feels more uplifted with two women than with one: his love seems to hit the ideal mark somewhere between two different faces.
