Hilarious Quotes

I still love her. But she's retarded, too.

I needed to make my wig ogg because I no longer wanted to apologize for who I am

I sometimes have birthday parties for the kids in my neighborhood and then pretend to suggest that I am going to molest them to the parents. It's a hilarious prank even though I am not a paedophile.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.

I think our collective psychosis is hilarious. With the world moving as fast as it is, if we weren't dysfunctional, we couldn't function.

Its just I fell into a bunch of movies that kind of fit in my life. It made sense to do them in the 80s. Folks who know me think its hilarious.

They're Twin-like," Shaunee said. "Hilarious," Erin agreed. "Shut up!" Aphrodite and Stevie Rae said together, which made the Twins convulse into laughter.

Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious.

I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out.

We found a great rhythm. Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

We have North Shore, Hawaii and Lost all there, so they have softball tournaments between the casts. It's hilarious.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

I'm all about being self-deprecating because I think it's hilarious. Any actor who takes themselves seriously just needs to stop being such a piece of s**t.

I've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious.

In my personal life, I'm hilarious! I was always a bit of a jokester.

If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it really.

I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband.

Steve Buscemi is hilarious. He's really, really good with improv.

I really love 'Soapdish.' I wish 'Soapdish' had more of a moment because I felt that that is a really strong, funny movie. Kevin Kline is hilarious in that movie.

Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.

It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

I would love to work with Kristin Wiig one day. I find her hilarious, and I totally idolize her.

One possible reason that I don't believe in fate is that I wasn't fated to.

If anybody is a master at improvisation, it would be Ken Jeong. He is hilarious.

Take your risks now; as you become older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn't even on.

Running with the bulls was one of my crazier judgments in life and one of those things I decided to do spur of the moment. It was pretty hilarious.

It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.

That sun is lookin' good... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.

One lion thinks it's just hilarious to tackle us. He's very funny about it... and we always know when it will happen.

Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.

I take literature as a really serious human activity. It's not just a playful thing. It can be hilarious and wonderful and performative, but I think it's really serious.

Google "brooklyn writer" and you'll get, Did you mean: the future of literature as we know it?

I am the least likely person in the world to be in an American football film! Which is why I couldn't say no to The Replacements; I thought it was hilarious.

What could be a more Canadian way to indulge in the national preoccupation with perceptions - honest, hilarious, huffy or high-minded - of this country and its inhabitants?

Michael Winter’s fiction is a lot like hearing him talk about his life… harrowing in an after-the-fact hilarious way. Full of wonder and mystery. A hangover you wouldn’t miss for the world.

God Almighty Himself must have been hilarious when human beings so mingled iron and water and fire as to make a railroad train!

It would be hilarious if I worked in a bowling alley.

Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it.

I haven't changed - the public has. I'm an insider now, which is hilarious.

There's so much joy in doing comedy work, and that's one of the reasons I like to do it - because it's just a hilarious day at work.

I'm not always looking for the laugh. I'm not the guy who sits in and listens to conversations and wants to jump in with something hilarious every two seconds. I actually do listen to people.

It's hilarious a lot of times. You have a conversation with someone, and he's like, 'You speak so well!' I'm like, 'What do you mean? Do you understand that's an insult?

Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people.

Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.

What are you doing sister? / Killing swine.

Roz to Amelia (the house ghost): How considerate of you, after trying to kill me, to see that I don't catch a cold.