Funny Quotes

Keep your sense of humor. Stay funny.

It's funny, people who have a lot of sexual energy think of themselves as being not spiritual. They are probably more spiritually inclined. All that sexual energy is kundalini.

The more lives you have, the harder it is to change, yet the stronger you are. It's a kind of funny dichotomy.

Nirvana is very funny. It's not sincere particularly. It's rather frivolous, actually.

A teacher is really invaluable. A teacher will instruct you in how to stabilize your energy field, increase it, and decrease the loss of energy in your life and how to be balanced, wise, and funny.

Those secrets are things that most people don't learn, because they are not enthusiastic enough, or bright enough, or patient enough, or funny enough; or still enough.

By putting myself out there the way I've been doing people see me as a real person. Even though I do character voices and funny noises the stories are still real and I put them all out there.

Sometimes [high school speech team] was funny, other times it was just talking, but it gave me the confidence to speak in front of people after doing that for a whole year.

I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try.

When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining.

I know enough football to know that's funny!

It's funny, people talk about the characters they play and who do you sort of see yourself as or which ones maybe were closest to you and in some ways.

I travel a lot to promote the perfumes and to do the commercials.

I wanted to be a "serious artist." Serious artists didn't tend to be funny. But that didn't get me a lot of attention. And just growing older, you can't help it, you take things less seriously.

It's sort of like, our bodies are designed to keep moving, and when we don't move it, we're not going to feel great.

A Complicated Kindness is just that: funny and strange, spellbinding and heartbreaking, this novel is a complicated kindness from a terrifically talented writer.

Unfortunately, he was about as deep as a melted ice cube.

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

I'm still compulsively interested in women. It's funny, I've always compulsively photographed women. I still do.

When I see something, I know why something's funny or seems to be funny. But in the end it's just another picture as far as I'm concerned.

Actually, the animal pictures came about in a funny way.

If she were a president, she'd be Baberham Lincoln.

It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.

This beginning motion, this first time when a sail truly filled and the boat took life and knifed across the lake under perfect control, this was so beautiful it stopped my breath.

Who doesn't love Game of Thrones? Sons of Anarchy is funny and thug-ish. I love Shameless. I just sit with my hat tipped, waiting for something to happen, more than going out after the shows.

It's funny the things you think you're scared of until they're upon you, and then you're not.

Lots of models have played mermaids throughout history and it is, kind of, a funny rite of passage.

Ohh, how clever," Aden said and clapped. "A death threat. You know what's funny? That's not even my first of the day.

Johnny Hart became much less funny after he found sobriety, and religion, around the same time.

I don't mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day.

The British are apt to make merits of their stupidities, and to represent their various incapacities as points of good breeding.

When you find something funny search it for hidden truth.

Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?

Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately

What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.

None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he jumped up, his head hit the switch.

No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

It's harder to be funny from the position of power.

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.

I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.

Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.

I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio.