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Gary Gulman Quotes

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Gary Gulman Quotes: "Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record."

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!"

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!




Gary Gulman Quotes: "Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates."

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented."

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.




Gary Gulman Quotes: "Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run."

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "Don't go back over your life with a red pen."

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you."

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.




Gary Gulman Quotes: "The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included."

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian."

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself."

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile."

I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in."

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in.




Gary Gulman Quotes: "I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew."

I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy."

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again."

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy."

I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time."

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that."

I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators."

I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it."

What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts."

I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I think everything contributes to your creativity."

I think everything contributes to your creativity.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career."

It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game."

I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold."

There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened."

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?"

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?



Gary Gulman Quotes: "Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent."

Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny."

It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I think everything is fair game to a certain extent."

I think everything is fair game to a certain extent.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "Without my family, I'd be something."

Without my family, I'd be something.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now."

I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now.



Gary Gulman Quotes: "Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself."

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.