Comedy Quotes
And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu Doll"-Kaname Kuran"I DONT WANT IT!"-Zero Kiryu"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"-Juri Elizabeth Marin
He immediately went down with a thud and I was pretty certain most of the furniture in the room jumped when he landed.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes.
There was no way to have a civilized conversation with that guy. It's like he was raised by giraffes or something.
My daughter asked if the boogie man was scary. I said, "Not as scary as the boogie woman.
You don’t have to want to be in arelationship for a little bow-chicka-bow-wow.
Duct tape can't fix stupid, " Bas growled. "Maybe not, " Red replied, "but it can hold it down and muffled the screams.
He quite liked dentists’ waiting rooms. Waiting for dentists was good. Waiting for them was so much better than having them stick metal spikes in your mouth.
Mike’s brain was hardwired directly into his genitals and most higher functions appeared to have switched themselves off. In other words, he was just like most men.
I asked you a question. What are you doing here?"Resting his elbows on the side of the tub, he smiled lazily. She hated it when he smiled lazily. "Waiting for the bubbles to evaporate, " he said.
Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.
Was that tragedy? Or was that comedy? Was there really any difference?
There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident
I like gross generalizations...I also like disgusting specifics!
St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents in the bonnet, which distinguished it from the more common and less powerful XR3i.
Had the facial plumage been of a paler hue it would have looked like a pile of horse crap on a winter’s day.
Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.
Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind a sycamore tree and using his nose as an Allen Key to release a starving rat.
You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!
A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.
I really don’t get this whole oranges thing. It’s like, does he want to eat them or go out with them?
You must be clever, Tracey to do these forgeries.""She's not clever. I did them, " yelled Frieda."You'll get five years.""She did them."From Halfpennies and Blue Vinyl
I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take a nap.
Dolphins and sharks are natural enemies. Dolphins are like, "Quit eating us, " and sharks are like, "Stop smiling all the time, you morons.
There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.
If we get a 3D printer at the office, the first thing I’m printing with it is a new 3D printer just for me!
The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA.
The Occupy Wall Street movement faltered when activists realized that traders were quite busy already.