A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.

St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents in the bonnet, which distinguished it from the more common and less powerful XR3i.

Had the facial plumage been of a paler hue it would have looked like a pile of horse crap on a winter’s day.

Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.

You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!

Your toaster’s a puff.

It is a fact: Of all the people we ever know in our lifetime, the only thing we have in common with them is a handful of shared experiences.

Never judge another knight without first knowing the strength and cunning of the dragons he fights.

A sky as pure as water bathed the stars and brought them out.

Because the way love works in general, you don't need everybody to like you somewhat - you need one person to like you a lot.

Well, I was born to people raised in 1889.

UN goodwill may be a bottomless pit but it's by no means limitless.

The only thing I ever learned was that some people are lucky and other people aren't and not even a graduate of the Harvard Business School can say why.

I hate picking favourite books. I usually tend to stay away from all the 'top record' and 'favourite song' and 'favourite book', and I just think it doesn't do any good for anybody.

A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge

The Author is a play about responsibility, how active we are as spectators and how responsible we are for what we choose to look at.