No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

If you have time, you need a vision. If you have money you need a purpose.

Now I realize that everything you need for measuring a person can be found in the nature of what he chooses to hide from everyone else. That's all you need to know to gauge his goodness.

The point is that I don't design stuff for myself. I'm a toolmaker. I design things that other people want to use.

In America the press rules the countrty; it rules its politics, its religion, its social practices.

The things she most wanted to tell him would lose their meaning the moment she put them into words.

Trust life, and it will teach you, in joy and sorrow, all you need to know.

There are a lot of people that impacted me. I remember hearing Oscar Peterson live at the Blue Note, which was very expensive, but... $50 in the '80s... hard to come up with. But it was amazing.

We make our own choices and we're each responsible for them. Blame and credit belong to the individual. You haven't the right to claim either from someone else.

An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run.

If artists slowly learn how their business works, they'll have the ability to grow at any rate they can dream up, but they'll also have the ability to control the message whatever that might be.