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P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

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P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Your money does not cause my poverty. Refusal to believe this is at the bottom of most bad economic thinking."

Your money does not cause my poverty. Refusal to believe this is at the bottom of most bad economic thinking.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I think about my mother every day. But usually the thoughts are fleeting - she crosses my mind like a spring cardinal that flies past the edge of your eye: startling, luminous, lovely... gone."

I think about my mother every day. But usually the thoughts are fleeting - she crosses my mind like a spring cardinal that flies past the edge of your eye: startling, luminous, lovely... gone.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around."

The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free."

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "People are always afraid of the truth."

People are always afraid of the truth.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "One of these suburbs is actually named Stalingrad, which goes to show that the French have learned nothing about politics since they guillotined all the smart people in 1793."

One of these suburbs is actually named Stalingrad, which goes to show that the French have learned nothing about politics since they guillotined all the smart people in 1793.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I read good. I was an English major."

I read good. I was an English major.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "A couple of guys won Academy Awards for the things that I turned down. Today, after coming to terms with everything, after being in therapy for a long time-there are areas where I will compromise."

A couple of guys won Academy Awards for the things that I turned down. Today, after coming to terms with everything, after being in therapy for a long time-there are areas where I will compromise.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Hey, baby, nobody suffers like the poor."

Hey, baby, nobody suffers like the poor.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman."

Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailboating equipment, the gin and tonic."

In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailboating equipment, the gin and tonic.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime."

I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world."

At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "When are the world's political parties going to get appropriate symbols: snake, louse, jackal, ... trash can, clown face, ... dollar bill with bat wings on it?"

When are the world's political parties going to get appropriate symbols: snake, louse, jackal, ... trash can, clown face, ... dollar bill with bat wings on it?



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk."

The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Cats possess so many of the same qualities as some poeple that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart."

Cats possess so many of the same qualities as some poeple that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money."

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper."

These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please."

Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Fretting about overpopulation, is a perfect guilt-free - indeed, sanctimonious - way for "progressives" to be racists."

Fretting about overpopulation, is a perfect guilt-free - indeed, sanctimonious - way for "progressives" to be racists.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven."

Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about."

Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Actually, there is no way of making vomiting courteous. You have to do the next best thing, which is to vomit in such a way that the story you tell about it later will be amusing."

Actually, there is no way of making vomiting courteous. You have to do the next best thing, which is to vomit in such a way that the story you tell about it later will be amusing.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it comes our only basic human duty: the duty to accept the consequences of our actions."

There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it comes our only basic human duty: the duty to accept the consequences of our actions.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don't smoke have a terrible time finding something polite to do with their lips."

Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don't smoke have a terrible time finding something polite to do with their lips.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "All that prosthetic makeup drains you. By the time it's lunch, you're done."

All that prosthetic makeup drains you. By the time it's lunch, you're done.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I behaved worse than anybody for 15 years, and you have to pay the price for that. I used to blame other people, then therapy made me realise I had to change."

I behaved worse than anybody for 15 years, and you have to pay the price for that. I used to blame other people, then therapy made me realise I had to change.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Never wear anything that panics the cat."

Never wear anything that panics the cat.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Never fight an inanimate object."

Never fight an inanimate object.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does."

You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I'm really not afraid of spooky things. When I have to look really frightened, I concentrate on scary things like losing my kittens or something like that."

I'm really not afraid of spooky things. When I have to look really frightened, I concentrate on scary things like losing my kittens or something like that.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I have a St. Bernard named B."

I have a St. Bernard named B.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "One word I had throughout the first year and a half of my mother's death was 'unmoored.' I felt that I had no anchor, that I had no home in the world."

One word I had throughout the first year and a half of my mother's death was 'unmoored.' I felt that I had no anchor, that I had no home in the world.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is."

Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I spent a lot of years trying to beat the system and, in the end, the system kicked my behind good."

I spent a lot of years trying to beat the system and, in the end, the system kicked my behind good.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation's capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers."

Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation's capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth."

People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "My Grandmother wouldn't even speak the word Democrat if there were children in the room, she'd say Bastards instead."

My Grandmother wouldn't even speak the word Democrat if there were children in the room, she'd say Bastards instead.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated."

Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes."

Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it."

The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Some of your worst gangsters are guys who were very low-key."

Some of your worst gangsters are guys who were very low-key.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Seriousness is stupidity sent to college."

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry."

When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "There are no kinder or better people in the world than those who listen to you when you are 18."

There are no kinder or better people in the world than those who listen to you when you are 18.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you."

The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you.