Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

The resurrection was not the reversal of a defeat but the manifestation of a victory.

The secret in any situation is the strength of spirit.

You are likely to keep repeating the same mistake all over again if you do not agree it’s a mistake.

Writing heals my heart like no pill ever could.

I've been fortunate over my career to make a little history on the 16th hole at Augusta National.

One should never fall in the belief that you can find someone to pick you up.

What gets measured gets managed.

I give a lot of myself, so it will be good to release some heavy energy, and I know yoga deals with energy. So I definitely want to get into that.

I do not condone hostility toward any church simply to vent personal malice or umbrage.

Now will never leave. It is always here. Like a clear canvas, it awaits our painting.