Bill Watterson Quotes

You know, maybe we don't need enemies." "Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.

Tomorrow we'll not only seize the day, we'll throttle it.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.

The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.

Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist - how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!

In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.

Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Sleepwalking?" "Nightmare?" "Homicidal psycho jungle cat!

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

Verbing weirds language.

Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.

I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.

Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.

The whole idea of hobknobbing and schmoozing and the concept of an "elite" class of celebrities better than the common people has always made my stomach turn.

You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.

It's only work if somebody makes you do it.

I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

The problem with people is that they're only human.

Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces... Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug's juices!

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You can draw a penguin on a toilet reading The New York Times and it's adorable, but try doing it with an adult male character, and it's disgusting.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.

Good friends are hard to come by... I need more money.

Art has to keep moving and discovering to stay alive.

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.

A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.

When the cartoonist is trying to talk honestly and seriously about life, then I believe he has a responsibility to think beyond satisfying the market's every whim and desire.

Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in... But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.

I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.