You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far."

I want to manufacture a feud.

If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I don't like gadgets for their own sake. I like gadgets that are tools. And I like simple gadgets that do one thing really well like a hammer.

I have to stay true to myself.

If god meant for people to talk into cellphones, he would've put our mouths on the side of our heads.

Although every person makes mistakes, not every mistake makes a person.

Every man alive is half idiot & half hero. Only heroes could survive in this maelstrom & only idiots would want to.

It is one of the most effective attitudes of the neurotic to measure thumbs down, so to speak, a real person by an ideal, since in doing so he can depreciate him as much as he wishes.

The worst pandemic in modern history was the Spanish flu of 1918, which killed tens of millions of people. Today, with how interconnected the world is, it would spread faster.

I think it's just a conglomerate of everybody's influences that comes out on the record, and live as well.

What we are left with is an overmanipulated economy that can't function normally.

God is not only true, but Truth itself.

Lil Wayne is definitely the greatest youngest rapper alive.

Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like.