You only have one thing in business, and that is your reputation

If you tell the truth, then you don't have to have a good memory

Your son went into your kitchen and took a kitchen knife.

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

The time to change was yesterday; the time to wake up is now.

"Beauty fades," my father would tell me, "but dumb? Dumb is forever."

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.

If you are trying to balance the scales of justice and equality in all your work relationships, you're going to come up short.

I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.

I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress

Don't make a cemetery of your life by burying your talents.

We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.

In selecting men for office, let principle be your guide. Regard not the particular sect or denomination of the candidate - look to his character.

Yes, there's plenty of fish in the sea, but be gifted with a rare catch: that one which lives with "forever faithfulness." ~ Angelica Hopes, If I Could Tell You

A free nation of good willed and hardworking people will be better developed than a nation of lazy people with good will but are bound

So far as physics is concerned, time's arrow is a property of entropy alone.

I met Kim Kardashian in a nightclub once, and she was really nice. Kanye West was with her, but he didn't speak. He just looked at me.

Live life to it's fullest, love wastefully, and be all we can be.

Under President Bachmann you will see gasoline come down below $2 a gallon again.

I've picked up a great appetite for pastrami on rye and a nice cream soda. It is fantastic. So I have to be careful or I'm going to just get really fat.