You only have one chance for a first impression.

If you tell the truth, then you don't have to have a good memory

Your son went into your kitchen and took a kitchen knife.

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

The time to change was yesterday; the time to wake up is now.

"Beauty fades," my father would tell me, "but dumb? Dumb is forever."

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.

If you are trying to balance the scales of justice and equality in all your work relationships, you're going to come up short.

I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.

I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress

Don't make a cemetery of your life by burying your talents.

Logic is a net to catch a „fish“ with. And the Truth is like water that can not be caught with net

People that complains all the time about problems are the one's that need to fix there problems.

While fiction is often impossible, it should not be implausible.

Hot weather brings out snakes and slaveholders, and I like one class of the venomous creatures as little as I do the other.

I don't believe in overdoing myself.

We may avoid much disappointment and bitterness of soul by learning to understand how little necessary to our joy and peace are the things the multitude most desire and seek.

I tell people this: It's hard to write about walking in the park, but it's easy to write about a breakup.

I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to.

Part of the entrepreneurial thing is there are lots of ways to die.

I've never liked what's meant to be cool. I was asked to do Glastonbury the year before last actually, but I couldn't make it. I would have liked to, but I'm not really a festival man.