You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

One of the worst things we can do is allow our children to grow up thinking they don’t need to keep any rules. A spoiled child becomes a spoiled adult.

I wondered if we were put on this earth only to destroy every beautiful thing, to make chaos. Or were we meant to overcome this? Did bad things happen so that goodness could show through in people?

Dreams are all very well but are not known to pay the mortgage.

Never make the mistake of believing forberance equates to acceptance, or that all positions are equally valid.

She's a Texan, born and raised. Football is in our blood.

Father, look upon us in Your goodness and kindness, we pray as a church. Help us to love each other.

I'm not against high-tech medicine. It has a secure place in the diagnosis and treatment of serious disease.

Cults use our vocabulary, but they don't use our dictionary.

You need the confidence to fail in order to take risks in your work

You have to be patient. I'm not!