You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'? I'm , 'Not for me. I'm done.'

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

There is only one page left to write on. I will fill it with words of only one syllable. I love. I have loved. I will love.

Nostalgia in reverse, the longing for yet another strange land, grew especially strong in spring.

Sometimes, hope is even harder to bear than grief.

Never give up the life you wish, because that wish is your personal sun! If you give up, you will find yourself in the darkness even in the brightest day!

To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you’ve lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you.

The man who sticks it out against his fate shows spirit, but the spirit of a fool.

To understand how you live, to live. Do not think about it and live with it.

For tradition to be alive it has to be allowed to be a fountain of power for things undreamt of, things to come.

Yosemite Park is a place of rest, a refuge from the roar and dust and weary, nervous, wasting work of the lowlands, in which one gains the advantages of both solitude and society.

Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline.