You can cut your hair how you want, but I think you should get to where you wear it normal for the future.

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.

The other day I started to take a course in psycho-ceramics. What is psycho-ceramics? It's the study of crackpots.

There are many things that I find attractive about a woman. Foremost to me, of course, would be a sense of humor-but that doesn't come in a bottle.

A woman driver went through a red light. The cop stopped her and said, Lady, didn't you see that red light? The woman said, You've seen one, you've seen them all.

I love Chicago. I got on a bus and asked the driver, Do you go to the Loop? He said, No, I go beep-beep!

The kick [of comedy] is to think quickly. It's a great kick.

Things are changing, but this time I'm not afraid. This time I know who I am. This time I've made the right choice and fighting for the right team. I feel safe. Confident

What is there to life if a man cannot hear the lonely cry of the whippoorwill or the arguments of the frogs around the pool at night?

If they need my C.V., they don’t know my work.

Should we say something?’ Cal asks. ‘Goodbye, bird?’ I suggest. He nods. ‘Goodbye, bird. Thank you for coming. And good luck.

I raised my right hand and placed my left on the Quran, which was being held by my wife and mom. Suddenly, I was blinded by a cascade of camera flashes.

Even the smallest and most trivial thing can bring you happiness when you do it for another.

I always aspire to just be really nice to people. To be kind.

I'm going to do my best to channel the character on a spiritual level.

If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.

You always need something to complain about. And if you can't come up with anything better, you come along with team leaders. I don't believe in this chitchat.