The other day I started to take a course in psycho-ceramics. What is psycho-ceramics? It's the study of crackpots.

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.

There are many things that I find attractive about a woman. Foremost to me, of course, would be a sense of humor-but that doesn't come in a bottle.

A woman driver went through a red light. The cop stopped her and said, Lady, didn't you see that red light? The woman said, You've seen one, you've seen them all.

I love Chicago. I got on a bus and asked the driver, Do you go to the Loop? He said, No, I go beep-beep!

The kick [of comedy] is to think quickly. It's a great kick.

You can cut your hair how you want, but I think you should get to where you wear it normal for the future.

Exploration is a dirty game.

Let hope inspire you, but let not idealism blind you. Don't look back, you can never look back.

Aledo will always be home to me because I spent the first 27 years of my life there - it's such a special place - and because of the experiences I had there, I've become the person I am today.

Freedom of choice is more to be treasured than any possession earth can give.

I think when I feel I'm at my best is when I'm on stage, and it's my version of jazz because it's just riffing or something.

It's gratifying that people are watching that [Veep] intently and that hard. So it's been really nice and it's been really fun.

The basic problems facing the world today are not susceptible to a military solution.

I've always been about less government.

What is learned out of hard work and trial is inevitably more powerful than what is learned easily.

I think as an actor you're always learning, you're always trying to experience more things.