Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Self-love is self-care.

In the sacred-time, all beatitudes manifest.

But Americans find me bizarre and always ask me why I eat so many carbs. I tell them I don't get full otherwise.

I'm calm and focused and I can't wait for the biggest sport event in the World to begin.

Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame.

A good song can make you smile, or it can make you dance or laugh or remind you of a moment.

I was an only child, but I did have a hell of a lot of cousins.

We were both music-obsessed, each in our own way. If we didn't entirely understand the other person's obsession, it didn't matter, because we understood our own.

I am not sure of anything, I know nothing . . . can you imagine that I don't even know the date of my own death?

If I had to characterize one quality as the genius of feminist thought, culture, and action, it would be the connectivity.